Remembering Carolyn

Remembering Carolyn

Carolyn by the big wheel of the SP 4449, in 2011. She loved trains.

Carolyn and Ralph loved being grandparents. In 1990 they visited the Parkers at their home in Aurora, Illinois. Emily and Colin were the only grandchildren on both sides.

In 1990, Ralph was diagnosed with Parkinson’s disease, and Carolyn became his chief caregiver. They moved to Portland in 1999 to be close to daughter Ellen and her family. Ralph died in 2008.

Carolyn fought depression much of her life, which she considered as likely having to do with her mother’s early death. She hid it for many years before finally seeking successful treatment in her 50s. She later wrote that, through it all, what she wanted most was for people to see her as a happy humorous person. The long list of her many devoted friends attests to her success in achieving her wish.

Carolyn enjoys Robin Bossert's reading from his entry in the book her friends created for her

Carolyn was hospitalized on June 2, 2015, after a fall. Later, in the hospital, she developed pneumonia and a blood infection, and her heart began to fail. She was clear with hospital staff that she wanted no further interventions, and, with Ellen at her side, she died peacefully on June 22. She was survived by her sisters, Barbara Zander of New Knoxville, Ohio (who subsequently died, on March 4th, 2016), and Roberta Warren of Jackson, Michigan; her brother, Philip Gage (Peggy; Peggy Gage died March 12, 2016) of Sault Ste. Marie, Michigan; her daughter, Ellen Vanderslice (J. Scott Parker), of Portland, Oregon; her sons, Brian Vanderslice of Baldwinsville, New York, and Nathan Vanderslice of Ossining, New York; her grandson, Colin Parker (Audrey Sederberg) of Chicago; her granddaughter, Emily Wright (Micah) of Ft. Collins, Colorado; two great-grandchildren, and numerous nieces and nephews. We remember and lift up her wit and wisdom, her integrity and intelligence, and her service to the greater good.

Remembering Carolyn
Carolyn by the big wheel of the SP 4449, in 2011. She loved trains.	"A mother is a person who, seeing there are only four pieces of pie for five people, promptly announces she never did care for pie." -Tenneva Jordan
Remembering Carolyn Gage Vanderslice 1930 – 2015 Carolyn Babcock Gage was born May 8, 1930, in Brighton, Michigan, to Jarvis Gage and Esther Babcock Gage, the second of four children. She and her siblings were reared on a farm that had been in the family since it was homesteaded in 1835. Their mother died in 1939, and their father's oldest sister Nina left her career teaching high school biology in Chicago to care for the family on the farm.	Older sister Barbara, grandmother Ella Devereaux Gage ("Little Grandma"), and baby Carolyn on the lawn at Knolltop, the family farm near Wixom, Michigan, in 1930.
	Carolyn attended a one-room country school named for her great-grandfather. The teacher often boarded at their house. She was valedictorian of her graduating class at Brighton High School. She attended Michigan State College (now University), where she met Ralph L. Vanderslice, Jr. In 1951 she received a BA in Elementary Education, and shortly after was married to Ralph. Carolyn and Ralph soon had three children. Daughter Ellen was born in 1953 in Michigan, and sons Brian and Nathan in 1955 and 1956 in Vermont. Ralph became a college professor, and the family moved often to advance his career. In Burlington, Vermont, the young Vanderslices met Jack and Elaine Parker, who became lifelong friends. Years later daughter Ellen married the Parker's son Scott.
Carolyn was a creative educator. When she wanted to get her students' attention she would go to the piano and have them march around the classroom, singing. She taught elementary school in Michigan, New Jersey, California, and New York. In Hawaii, she was principal of the Na Lei and Waihala schools of the Kindergarten and Children’s Aid Association.
	Carolyn's particular interest in teaching was in imagining and preparing educational materials that would further her students' creativity and independence. When the family settled in New York in the 1970s, she had an opportunity to move into educational publishing, where she spent the rest of her career. She began as an editor at Guidance Associates, one of the top producers of audiovisual material for schools nationwide, which had recently been acquired by Harcourt Brace Jovanovich. She rose to become head of the Elementary Department, where, working with Professor Lawrence Kohlberg of Harvard University, she produced innovative filmstrip programs on moral development. Carolyn was recruited to Sunburst Communications by Jean Robbins, Editor in Chief. Together, Jean and Carolyn developed opened-ended discussion videos dealing with such affective subjects as self-esteem, teen sexuality, dealing with anger, cheating, drug use and others. Sunburst was one of the first companies to use live actors in filmstrips and videos. Carolyn produced the video, "Crack!" the company's best seller and the first video in the country on the subject of crack cocaine. Many of Carolyn’s works can still be found in schools and libraries around the world.
Moving so frequently, Carolyn and Ralph and their children grew especially close. The family enjoyed making music together, with Carolyn at the piano. They often went hiking and camping, and visited many spectacularly scenic sites in their travels, particularly in Hawaii and California. After their children were grown, Carolyn and Ralph spent many hours as tour leaders and volunteer wardens of Wildflower Island, a refuge within the greater Teatown Preserve in Westchester County. Carolyn's lifelong love and fascination with flowers and birds can be traced to her Aunt Nina's teaching.	Touring Yosemite National Park in the Opal, 1966
	Carolyn and Ralph loved being grandparents. In 1990 they visited the Parkers at their home in Aurora, Illinois. Emily and Colin were the only grandchildren on both sides.
In 1990, Ralph was diagnosed with Parkinson’s disease, and Carolyn became his chief caregiver. They moved to Portland in 1999 to be close to daughter Ellen and her family. Ralph died in 2008. Carolyn fought depression much of her life, which she considered as likely having to do with her mother’s early death. She hid it for many years before finally seeking successful treatment in her 50s. She later wrote that, through it all, what she wanted most was for people to see her as a happy humorous person. The long list of her many devoted friends attests to her success in achieving her wish.	Carolyn and Ralph in their Portland home, December 2007
Carolyn enjoys Robin Bossert's reading from his entry in the book her friends created for her	In the fall of 2014, Carolyn began hinting to her family that she would like a gala 85th birthday celebration in Westchester County, New York, where she could once again visit with her many longtime friends from her days as a video producer. Permission for the journey by air was obtained from her cardiologist, and on May 8, 2015, her wish was granted when all of her descendents and fourteen of her close friends gathered for a very special luncheon at the Kittle House in Chappaqua, New York. A sparkling Carolyn beamed as she warmly welcomed each old friend.
Carolyn was hospitalized on June 2, 2015, after a fall. Later, in the hospital, she developed pneumonia and a blood infection, and her heart began to fail. She was clear with hospital staff that she wanted no further interventions, and, with Ellen at her side, she died peacefully on June 22. She was survived by her sisters, Barbara Zander of New Knoxville, Ohio (who subsequently died, on March 4th, 2016), and Roberta Warren of Jackson, Michigan; her brother, Philip Gage (Peggy; Peggy Gage died March 12, 2016) of Sault Ste. Marie, Michigan; her daughter, Ellen Vanderslice (J. Scott Parker), of Portland, Oregon; her sons, Brian Vanderslice of Baldwinsville, New York, and Nathan Vanderslice of Ossining, New York; her grandson, Colin Parker (Audrey Sederberg) of Chicago; her granddaughter, Emily Wright (Micah) of Ft. Collins, Colorado; two great-grandchildren, and numerous nieces and nephews. We remember and lift up her wit and wisdom, her integrity and intelligence, and her service to the greater good.
Two memorial services were held Sunday, June 28, 2015, at the Pleasantville Methodist Church 70 Bedford Road, in Pleasantville, N.Y. Sunday, July 19, 2015, in the Eliot Chapel at First Unitarian Church, 1011 SW 12th Avenue, in Portland, Ore.	Carolyn with her father, Jarvis Gage, 1968
	Carolyn was a strong supporter of social justice and a generous donor to many activist organizations. For those who have inquired, gifts in her honor would be appropriate to any of the following organizations:
The first draft of this obituary was written by Carolyn before her death. Ellen edited and augmented it for this memorial.	• Portland Homeless Family Solutions • Oregon Walks • The Southern Poverty Law Center • The Alliance of the First Unitarian Church of Portland
This is something Ellen wrote about her mother in 2016.	MY MOTHER'S SMILE
	In her college graduation photo outtakes, my mother tries out various smiles. Her smile is dimpled, wholesome and acutely real. For the yearbook, though, she chose a soulful distant gaze. The smile I remember most was the smile I remember my mother making when I was an adolescent. She would have been in her late 30s and early 40s, actively teaching, and, as she taught, dreaming of making educational materials. (She was lucky in that dream, it came true elegantly when she went to work first for Guidance Associates, which moved to Harcourt Brace Jovanovich, and then for Sunburst, from which she retired as a producer.) Carolyn had a different smile for her colleagues in New York, so the smile I'm talking about must belong to California and the Midwest. It was not a happy smile; it was a smile that seemed to fear showing too much of its teeth. From the obituary she wrote for herself, I see now that this was one of the times she suffered depression. She wrote that she finally got treatment in her 50s. The smile I can least remember is the smile she lavishes on me in snapshots my grandfather and father took of me as a baby. It's a relative to the dimpled graduate. In recent years, my mother and I spent a lot of time together. At social occasions I came to know a vocabulary of her smiles: the fake smile she'd give someone she'd spoken harshly about to me, that valedictory graduate's smile for the many people she truly loved, and a special I'm-tired-now-can't-you-get-me-out-of-this?-smile, for my eye alone. Mom didn't smile very much in the last few days of her life. When she died, her face lost expression as I looked on, observing her cheek pale to wax. But later – much later, when the nurses came back, when her body was clean and freshly robed, nurse Abigail said to me, "She looks like she's smiling. Did you do that?" Yes, Carolyn did look like she was smiling. I was too superstitious to take a picture, and maybe I was afraid the smile wouldn't survive the experience. It was a blessing to be treasured mindfully, in the moment. I left the hospital comforted.